During the week, (meaning mon-wed, sometimes thurs, bc lets be honest, thursday night is basically the weekend) I try to eat “super healthy” “low cal meals” in order to save up for the calorie fuckfest // crystal_ballout // all day eating bonanzas that make my weekends wonderful.
This shit is so healthy its HI. LAR. IOUS. That’s why its called Lol_LunchBox – GET IT?
So, if you would like to spend hours each night in the kitchen preparing your lunch for the next day, Lol_Lunchboxes are totally for you.
First Up: ‘Dis Cabbage Cray:
Even if you have never thought to yourself “Wow, I would love to eat half a red cabbage for lunch”, you should still give this salad a try, if only for the colors alone. Talk about tripping balls – fushcia, bright orange, hot green, you’re going to feel like you are eating a fucking rave. Like, a rave. Of fucking. Sounds exciting right? Yeah, well, so is this salad. The look on your coworkers face like ‘What is that!? Damn, I wish i had a box filled w fuchsia goodness” (Why are people ALWAYS saying that to me!?) is totally worth all the shredding, squeezing and weird fresh cut red cabbage smell.
You will need:
1/2 a Red Cabbage
1 Big Carrot (Fuck baby carrots, they suck. Get a big ol’ fucking root, like God intended. And try to make its organic, like God intended. It really does makes a difference w carrots.)
1 Med Zuke
3 Scallions
1 – 1.5 HARD Nectarines
Gettin Saucey:
Grated Gingaaah, as much as you want! Depends how spicy you want this shit.
2 Lemons
Coarse Salt
Fish Sauce to taste
Red wine or Apple cider Vinegar to taste
Honey, Agave, Sugar, somethin sweet, to taste
To finish ‘dis bitch:
Get your prots ya body needs plus some the creamy, crunchy goodness every meal should have from
1/2 an Avocado
Salted Cashews
Ok, Go –
Slice the cabbage super thin. I just got a mandolin, its terrifying. But those willowy tender crunchy threads it creates are so worth the skin (plus its a great protein kick!). As I grate the cabb I’m throwing it in a big bowl, tossing it w lemon juice and salt so it doesn’t brown and we get the fuchsia poppen out the gate. Next slice the nectarine into super thin half moons. Julienne the zuke. Grate or shave the carrot. Toss everything in w the cabbage and lemon juice and salt as you go.
In a lil bowl or cup on the side add sauce ingredients – careful w the fish sauce, one drop too much and your dressing goes from umami to uyucky. I think of the ginger, vinegar//lemon juice as the base, alternate a little bit of fish sauce and sweetener until you have the perfect tangy, salty, spicy sweet combo.
Pour over your veggies, mix up and distribute into lunch boxes. Make sure you take the one with the most nectarines. Give the other boxes to your friends, family, peeps on the street who look like they could use a colorful, healthy lunch. Before you eat add sliced avo and salted cashews. #4evaYUM